21 Comments
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Marbellys's avatar

I’ve always said that deciding to have children is selfish, deciding to raise and love them is a selfless act…

Oh and by the way I am off to buy a pair of “don’t give a f*ck” sunglasses 😎

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Amy Abrahams's avatar

This is very wise. Raising and loving children is indeed so selfless, so much of yourself comes second for so long, and thoughts of my kids come so often before I have thoughts of myself. I'm sure there's a better balance though. (And although now I'm expanding into a bigger chat beyond this article, I've never got the bickering when people with kids say people without kids are 'selfish', or vice versa. Isn't everyone guided by their own selfish needs? But anyway, that's more for another time...)

PS YES! Go buy yourself some excellent sunglasses. The bigger the frames, the better the 'no fucks' vibes!

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Jessica's avatar

You can never find the Blu Tack to stick something up in our house because the kids have taken it to use as playdough! (Even more likely if you get the colourful kind as I discovered - didn’t even last an hour in the packet!)

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Amy Abrahams's avatar

It holds some special power over children, doesn't it? My son once asked for a packet of blu-tack as a birthday present. (Was happy to oblige!)

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Lyndsay Kaldor's avatar

This was brilliant Amy, each point resonated on many levels, I will be sharing with many mothers. Do you have anything for when a nearly 3 year old throws things at you when even mildly displeased? And refuses to put socks on/do anything apart from have a massive meltdown when we HAVE to leave the house for school pick up?! xx

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Amy Abrahams's avatar

Oh god, the throwing... Fantasy gift would definitely be a suit of armour. Or even better, Matrix-style reflexes to dodge said item flying through the air. (It's very annoying, isn't it?) As for the refusal to do basic things like put on socks/shoes/coat when it's time to leave the house, even the wisest scholars of our time have never solved that conundrum. Though I must say, the one thing that mostly works in any tricky situation is the power of bribery - "Get your shoes on quick and I will get you something from the snack box!" Praise be for the snack box.

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Lyndsay Kaldor's avatar

Will take the armour and the reflexes, thank you. And yes, snacks, such a good point, both the bane of life and the preserver of sanity! xx

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Charlotte (has) Baby Brain's avatar

Love the way you diffused the I hate you sitch. Unfortunately if I tried this with my 5 year old, he would start screaming 😂

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Amy Abrahams's avatar

Ha! You never know. (In those moments of desperation, all tactics are worth a try!)

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Kylie-Ann's avatar

When other kids are arseholes it really does help I have to say. 😂

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Amy Abrahams's avatar

Ha, quite! I think all parents are allowed brief interludes of relief/superiority as they really don’t come that often.

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Kylie-Ann's avatar

Yes we take them we can get them. Sorry, not sorry lol

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Andy Carter's avatar

Great read and some solid advice, Amy! Might try the Blu Tack idea but not sure I’d trust our kids not to eat it…

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Amy Abrahams's avatar

Yes, there’s always a risk. I discovered a blob in my son’s hair last week. Nearly had to shave it off….

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Shaz's avatar

Ugh! Those gestures of parental schadenfreude…! Mine love to tell me about my tantrums in the supermarket and shopping centres! Also pretty certain I’ve called my little one the nasty c word to his face, though he definitely deserved it at the time! We made up before bedtime :)

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Amy Abrahams's avatar

Ha! The “nasty c word”! Glad you made up by bedtime 🤣

As for parental schadenfreude, well my mum on the other hand likes to claim my sister and I were “perfect”. (Allegedly never had tantrums, were potty trained by six months, always polite, etc etc) Therefore she uses my alleged perfect behaviour to imply my own children are delinquents by comparison. So you can’t win.

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Serena Mariani's avatar

Really loved this. I want all of them! x

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Amy Abrahams's avatar

Thank you. You can have them then - consider it a done deal!

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Sara Santa Clara's avatar

I love this so much, I was laughing and then I teared up at the part about the rod... I too have been threatened with the rod for the exact same reasons you describe, so I totally relate.

The gift ideas are brilliant, I particularly like the power of teleportation and the parent force field, though Gabor Maté on speed dial would come in very handy indeed.

Glad this appeared on my feed, happy to make your acquaintance, Amy :)

Oh and the hippo picture at the end... priceless.

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Amy Abrahams's avatar

Thanks so much for this lovely comment. I am so pleased it spoke to you (and made you laugh... and feel). It never feels better than when a piece seems to arrive just at the right time for someone. Thanks so much for 'getting it'. And very happy to make your acquaintance, too.

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Sara Santa Clara's avatar

I forgot to thank you for the link to the kintsugi repair kit - I've been trying to find one that doesn't ship from Japan for ages! Though it is indeed a great present for the parent spinning too many plates, it's even more perfect when the parent happens to also be a potter, like me ;)

Thanks, Amy!

addendum a few days later: actually, I am not able to get that kit because they don't ship outside the UK - thank you, Brexit. My search continues.

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